EMOTIONAL CAUSES WITH ENDOMETRIOSIS

    The womb is the center of our creative being and the heart of our womanhood. Out of our womb we give birth to babies, businesses, ideas, and dreams. It is a sacred space in the body of a woman, and one we take for granted until that endometrial tissue starts to turn up elsewhere.

    Outside the confines of our uterine walls, endometriosis lesions grow, waver, and bleed alongside the hormonal fluctuations of a woman’s menstrual cycle. It makes sense, then, that these women experience heightened levels of pain around ovulation, or menstruation. Her body, has developed antibodies against her own tissue. Essentially, her body is attacking itself from the inside.

    But endometriosis is a message alerting her to the wisdom of her own inner paradoxes. That she is no longer centered in the wisdom of her womb. She tries to be here, there, and everywhere all at the same time, and her body tries to do the same. She takes on conflicting emotions, forcing her life and body to rage a constant battle with one another other. In other words, her mind is in conflict with her heart.

    This paradoxical conundrum can manifest differently among women, but there are a couple of archetypes that I see most.

The Dependent

    For some women, the paradox arises as the need to be both independent and dependent at the same time. She struggles to “grow up,” desiring the comfort of home and the nurturing of a loving parent. She clings to her childhood and eschews the duties of adulthood, including moving out, getting married, or having a baby. On some level she sees her own mothering qualities as being outside of herself (and thus her endometriosis is outside her womb). To her, she isn’t a mother (whether physically, or emotionally). She’s dependent on her parents’ ability to provide, nurture, and care for herself, and while she may say she wants independence, she often doesn’t feel it.

    Many of these women possess a childlike quality, loving to be nurtured, pampered, and cooked for. She likes to feel loved, and cared for, but has yet to discover love and care for herself. She depends on others for her feelings of love and comfort, and thus her womb looks outside itself for the same feelings of nourishment.

The Business Woman

    For other women, the paradox arises as a need to both work and not work. She loves to do well in business, earning a solid living for herself and establishing her independence, but she’s faced with the conflicting emotion of also wanting to stay at home, be a homemaker, be with her children, or follow her dreams. She clings to the security, power, and money associated with her day job, but deep down she’s not satisfied with this existence. She knows she “should” want it. This isn’t the 1950’s, after all, and women in business can be considered “successful.” But she wants to define success differently.

    Rather than looking to herself, and what she truly wants out of life, she pursues happiness and success outside herself, and thus her womb seeks the same.

The Reluctant Mother

    Still other women with endometriosis struggle to accept whether or not they want kids. On a logical level, this type of woman reached a certain age, crossed off a certain number of check boxes, and having children seems the obvious next step. She often starts trying to conceive without ever truly evaluating if kids are for her. Why should she not want kids? It’s only natural!! But deep down, this woman may be trying to accept motherhood, when she doesn’t really want to. She might want to nurture her mothering spirit in ways outside of children, yet she continues to follow what she “should” want over what she truly desires. Once again, the womb follows suit, searching outside the uterus for her truth.

    No matter the archetype, by turning inward, women with endometriosis can discover a wealth of wisdom about what it is they truly want. And by realigning her life to the wisdom of their wombs, they can find healing and comfort. And yes, ease from the pain.

    Start by asking yourself what you’re looking for, and why you’re ignoring what your body truly wants. Say it out loud: I believe that I want {blank}, but what I actually want is {blank}. Admit your deepest desires out loud. It may be frightening, or brash, but it’s the first step in finding healing, both in and outside your body

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