WONDERING ABOUT MEN

I’m sitting here and in the last while a lot has happened I’m crippled in intense pain my back is out slipped disk, sciatic pain back brace and crutches. I have horrible Endo pain that makes me question why I deserve this ? what did I do? I think about relationships and I wonder if its worth even having one as it takes a lot more out of me then pleasure from it! I feel as Endo women we are in a different category and handle things differently. I am a warrior I am a survivor and I shouldn’t settle for a man a boy who has not experienced life and the ups and downs and come out the other side as a warrior. I think all Endo women need warriors because we are so strong so independent so powerful and I feel if we don’t have that in a mate then we are being held back. I feel in the ups and downs and chronic pain of endo we are constantly in a fight for ourselves state and we are busy trying to get through the day never mind helping our mates reach there potential I feel that being with the wrong person poisons us even more and clouds us from ourselves. We need to be put first and our emotions cared for by someone who knows pain experienced suffering can relate even a little bit. I know men are different have different needs desires but if you are made to feel less than if you are uncomfortable with sex and you are in pain we shouldn’t be made to feel we must please our men and cope and shut up about the pain. We shouldn’t be made to feel less than when he needs porn to “get off” We shouldn’t be put into situations that make us hate ourselves more and hate our bodies more than we already do. Our mates shouldn’t remind us of the Cants but should be there pushing us with the You Can! We are not mans teacher, pleaser, therapist, mother, we cannot be made to stand by while a man learns his way around life as we can barely live it. we cannot be punching bags for a mans ego or sex drive and be made to suffer when we cant fulfill his ever need. Why must women suffer in silence and cry in the dark ? Why is it up to us as women to take care of men in every way and learn to except and put up with? Why is it up to us to dress sexy, look good, diet ,be good in bed, pleasure and please, dress in sexy maid outfits, call our men “Daddy” and make him feel all sexy without any work? Why is it up to a women to keep her man interested by changing her appearance to not get boring and keep the firing burning>? A guy just shows up and boom expects us to be hot and ready for them. Who are they kidding! We do all the work so much work and then we make excuses for them when they hurt us or don’t act accordingly. I want a man who is strong who stands on his own two feet ! who cares for himself and takes pride in himself. I want a man who puts me first who doesn’t use excuses or rebels against me like I’m the enemy. I want a guy who looks after himself and me. I want to feel safe and warm with his arms around me not feel like he is horny. I want to feel loved and Romantic I want to feel I am the only girl in the world never competing with other unrealistic internet girls. I want to be good enough in every aspect. I want to be his best friend, soul mate confidant. I want to be his world he mine. I guess its too much to ask and maybe to good to be true. I cant handle anymore disappointment my body gives me that daily, I want security, a romantic fairy tale love story. I deserve it WE deserve it Don’t settle for someone selfish set in his ways unable to see your pain or know what true pain is! Don’t settle for someone inside there own head they don’t see you suffer alone, Don’t settle for someone who only cares about things that only directly effect him, Don’t settle for someone who is board and pressures you for sex and when you don’t give it Jerks off to porn. Don’t settle ladies  we were born with Endometriosis something we sadly are stuck with  we are not stuck with a crappy man. Take control of the one thing which is our relationships and only let the right people into your world because it isn’t like any other life out there its your own personal journey. Take pride in your steps walk with your head up and know you deserve the world!       Go out and Get it ! xoxoxox

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