abuse

I was whole, loving
trusting you.
Seduced by my anxieties
I merged with you
and lost my identity.
For in your eyes, I
do not exist.
I became the mirror of your image of me
having no self outside you.
Your world became my reason for being—
your happiness was my only concern,
your disappointment, my failure.
I am ornamental,
yet valueless:
a mere reflection of
what and who I once was…
Your lover,
Now, your hostage
imprisoned in this framework—
broken.
All that is left are splinters,
jagged pieces of glass,
the fragments of my being
Encased in a box,
tightly wrapped and sealed
with masking tape of false bravado.
Appearing whole,
yet remaining shattered.

Long ago,
A woman in love existed
free, and softly
I, the butterfly
with golden wings
flew into the trap of your open arms,
attracted and enraptured by your spell.
With seductive mystery
you spun the cocoon,
enveloping me within your love,
lulling me to complacency
with your sweetly disguised whispers
till I regressed to the poise of a caterpillar
with nonexistent grace,
lethargically inching along
going nowhere
but to hide in the leaves….
And deep within my heart, I yearn
to fly free again
alone and unhindered
high in the sky,
touching the clouds
exploring my world
rediscovering myself in the
metamorphosis of growth.
I, the butterfly
a creature of beauty
and capable of flight, I
break through the smothering cocoon
and take to my wings
to fly among those free in heart.

Broken…
your promises
to love, to honor, to cherish
to not hurt
to not hit
…again
to listen
Broken…
my jaw, my knee, my arm, my eardrum, my lip
my heart
Broken…
my trust in you
in others
in myself
Broken…
my dreams
our love
our future
Broken…
my self
my being
my spirit
my will to live
Broken…
by you

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